1/30/11

The Nutcracker


After last years ballet, I swore I would never pay money for a nap again. But when Elyse's good friend Claire was cast as Marie (aka Clara) in the NYC ballet's The Nutcracker, I knew we had to go.
***

The lighting outside was bad for picture taking with my amateur camera so no fountain pictures.

Such a beautiful place!

Elyse and Claire after the ballet, this girl is tiny! Almost a head shorter than Elyse! She was so good and I only fell asleep once. Elyse was so excited when I surprised her with the tickets so it was all worth it. The next day at school Claire taught Elyse the opening part of the play, so now we get private nightly performances. And when anyone comes over, they do as well much to their um...delight.

***FYI you are not allowed to bring flowers into the ballet, luckily the ticket checker told me this so I shoved the flower into my coat. They are worried that you're going to throw the flowers on stage. They should really check the location of your seats before enforcing this rule. We were the second row from the top, so if we could throw a single rose onto the stage it would be a world record.

1/26/11

Zoo

Elyse and her class went to the Bronx zoo. She took the camera and took some of the most random pictures, I actually went through and erased some extremely random ones but am now regretting it. Here are some of the ones that made the cut.


This one is just cute.




I probably erased about 20 that were just signs, grass and fence posts. I think she's got a future in photography ehh?

**disclaimer: I love giving E the camera, really, I want her to capture what she sees and likes I just think its funny what she chooses to take photos of. It makes me feel bad for all of my parents money I wasted on film developing when I would take the camera!

1/24/11

Tapped the movie


This movie (on Netflix watch instantly) is SO good and eye opening, you must watch it. Plastic is ruining our environment and our health! So many health problems are caused by Bisephenol-A and guess what? The FDA is doing nothing as per usual. They are just concerned about their bottom line instead of the little people. Please rethink your plastic usage and buy water filters (if you must have filtered water) and reusable non plastic bottles (and non aluminum cuz thats super bad for you too)

1/21/11

Gus





Gus finds great pleasure in empty food bags. He loves to lick the bottom and the only way to do that is to put his whole head in the bag and chase it around. Its Hilarious. Ahh, he's a genius.

1/19/11

Nursery University




This movie is a MUST see.....if you want to see how ridiculous New Yorkers are about school for their kids. Yes preschools really charge $20,000 for a 2 year old to go to "school" for 9 months. This movie was hilarious. The uber rich snobby gay dad and his hispanic wife live in my hood, so you know, I get to chit chat with some of these types of parents (but mostly their nannies) at the park. So funny, now I'm not saying that their kids aren't smart because of their schooling (Levi could certainly use somma dat case in point <--click the link) I'm just sayin' their parents are crazy. If you have Netflix it is a watch instantly movie.

1/16/11

11 Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids....step 12

Step 12 is courtesy of Karley.....in her case, as in many others, it is no exaggeration.


Punch yourself in the ear. Stab a pencil in your eye. Headbutt a concrete wall. Walk on some broken light bulbs. Snot rocket onto your shirt. Pass some gas on your own face. Now you're ready for the physical abuse of a two year old monster child.

1/13/11

11 Step Program for Those Thinking of Having Kids HAH!

I know I'm hilarious but no, I didn't make this up ;)


Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.



Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.



Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.



Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?



Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.



Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.



Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.



Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.



Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.



Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.



Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

1/10/11

Happy Birthday Elyse!


(Us today at Alice's Tea Cup, horrible quality cell phone pic)


I can't believe that my girl is 9! I swear I was just writing about her baptism! She is so sweet and fun and has really loved learning the piano this year. She loves to read and just got into the Harry Potter series which she is just devouring. She is a good friend and is getting to be a great helper around the house. She loves music and was so happy when she got into her school choir after a very nerve wracking audition. We love you Elyse and are SO grateful you are in our family! When we asked her what she wanted for Christmas her list went like this:

*I Pad
*I phone
*I touch
etc etc and etc.....
Such a teenager already!


1/6/11

Christmas at Macy's




Hyrum came to visit us for the day and we went to Macy's to sit on Santa's lap, which he of course loved haha!

1/2/11

Our Tree

Better late than never.....introducing our Tree!
We got a killer deal ....$30! For those of you in the city you know you're jealous! Typically this sized tree is anywhere from $50-$80!!
We made marshmallow and cranberry chains.


Just a tip, dry the marshmallows first then thread. We learned the hard way and wasted a lot of time.


Elyse's friend Sanya came to help.


And don't forget the foil star! A little white trash and mis matchy but we loved it!